Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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