I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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