honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
