i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
