he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
