those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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