so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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