He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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