sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
