It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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