"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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