i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
