I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
