how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
