take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
