I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
