What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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