oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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