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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out

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• (845): View more from New York

  What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.

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• (650): View more from California

  So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.

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