No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
