At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
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please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
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while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.