Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?