OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
