I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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