And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
