O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I could make wine with my vomit
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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