PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
