he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Randomize
