glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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