In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
no, he came in my armpit
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Boobs are out for the taking
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
