I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
