i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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