Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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