How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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