Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
