Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
