yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We don't watch enough power rangers
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
