I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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