We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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