There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
