he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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