Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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