alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
