the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I have tasted many bathrooms
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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