Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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