I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
