I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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