I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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