Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize