super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
