Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
