Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
