I bet he comes in French.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
