So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
