i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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