everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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