i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
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