drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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