called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
