Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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