Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
