Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
