her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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