I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize