My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
