i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize