Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize