While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
